How To: 10 Totally Crazy Black Friday Moments (And How to Protect Yourself from the Insanity)

People take their Black Friday shopping seriously. Some of them are even willing to fight over it. Every year the stories get crazier and crazier, and someone always gets hurt (or even killed).

While Black Friday violence is no laughing matter, some of the instances that don't result in serious injuries can be hilarious.

Whether you're planning on braving the crowds or not, there are always lessons to be learned from the people who go too far. If you do decide to risk it, though, these stories can help remind you what not to do—and what you should be on the lookout for. After all, nothing ruins the holiday spirit like having to call your lawyer!

Starting the Madness Early

Stores open earlier every year, which means that people start forming their absurd lines even earlier. There are already two women who've been in line at the Best Buy in El Cajon, California since LAST WEDNESDAY. That's over a week before sales even start!

Last year, Christine Orta of St. Petersburg, Florida started the line 9 days early, and in 2010, Lori and Ryan Davenport actually tried to set the record for most time spent in line for Black Friday.

But wait, it gets worse.

"We've been doing this for six years now and we get beat out by the same guy for the last six years," says Lori. So, not only do they waste their holiday waiting in line, but they've got a rival?

TIP: If you run into any of these people during your shopping, watch out. They've been there longer and they're more invested, so they're probably the most likely to snap.

The Shopping Cart Heist of 2009

Imagine showing up to a store on Black Friday expecting to grab your cart and start shopping, only to see this.

In 2009, over 500 shopping carts were stolen from a Toys 'R' Us in The Bronx over the holiday season. No word on why the one lonely cart outside is from Target, but I'll bet there were some angry shoppers that year!

TIP: Make sure you're prepared for cart-less shopping; take some fabric shopping bags for smaller items and more hands for the bigger items.

Can't Hardly Wait

You'd think we would have outgrown this attitude sometime during childhood, but Black Friday brings out the "I had it first" mentality in people. These Walmart shoppers couldn't even wait until they finished taking the shrink wrap off the pallets.

If you listen closely around the 0:30 second mark, you can actually hear someone screaming, "Give me!"

These anxious shoppers in Russia can't even contain themselves until the doors finish opening. They must have been giving a really great discount on those laptops...

TIP: If you really want that hot item this year, make sure you practice your sprinting, because you're gonna have to be fast.

Stampedes

Sometimes, people are so excited about a new product that they'll run right over other shoppers with reckless abandon. Take this Best Buy in Fresno, CA for example. In 2006, customers fought tooth and nail for the PS3 (which, in retrospect, is amusing).

Sound ridiculous? How about a $2 waffle maker?

At a woman in a Porter Ranch, CA Walmart was so concerned about getting her Xbox 360 that she pepper-sprayed over 20 other shoppers around her. What is it with people and video games?

TIP: If you sense a stampede about to start, the best thing you can do is get out! No bargain is worth getting trampled, and for the love of god, don't forget your anti-pepper spray solution!

No Cutsies

If there's one thing you can do on Black Friday to tempt fate, it's trying to cut in line. One woman at a Target in Florida learned this lesson the hard way.

Meanwhile in Wisconsin, this woman dove through a stack of boxes when an employee asked her to move to the back of the line she was trying to cut into (language NSFW).

TIP: If you want to make sure you get your Black Friday deals, avoid the temptation to cut.

Tell Us Your Black Friday Stories

Got a crazy Black Friday story of your own? Share it with us in the comments, and if you have video footage, even better!

Just remember as you shop this year that no discount is worth a fist fight, missing Turkey Day to wait in line, or getting pepper-sprayed. And if morality isn't enough to deter you, ending up on one of these lists should be!

For more quick tips on surviving Black Friday, check out Yumi's illustrated guide to Staying Alive and Emerging Victorious.